drewberry's Blog

Gosh, it's been a long time since the heart and soul has let lose her in EP Land.

Been braving the Real World as much as possible.   Face to Face and a little of FaceBook
It's been good actually to live life's stories without the facade of anonymonity.   Although, I do have Drew Berry profile in addition to my professional and family FACADE.

Whatever, this place is my sanctuary and I've missed A LOT of FAITHFUL FRIENDS.   Truly, you know who you are!!!

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Gawd, it's been over a year since anything of substance has been let out.   My son William got out of adolescence pseudo juvie camp last September and is living with his dad full time.....

I've let go a nearly three year relationship with a handsome, sexy athesist narcissist who loved me as much as he was capable of.  It was ALMOST ENOUGH.  I am still in deep grieving.

It's been about 5 months since I've been on the Cymbalta.  But TODAY is The Day I let go of the daily SOBS and feelings of worthlessness!   Better living through chemistry.  Walk a mile in my shoes is all I have to say to anyone who passes judgement on my personal choice.

I had let go the chemistry on purpose in order to Find Tracey.  Feel and Embrace the emotions that we all feel.  Perhaps even be Anguished enough to Write Again... which does occur from time to time...

I don't know.   I'm just tired of being afraid and crying all the time...   and no longer live in apology!.

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The bad news, I am alone as far as being in a relationship goes..  
The good news, I am alone as far as being in a relaionship goes.....  

IRONY
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I was recently blessed with a house of my own.  A rental for now, but this house will be my final resting place I am sure.... 

It is inhabitated with the soul of the 1950's...  With modern additions.  The decorating theme is inspired by Pandora.com ~ SWING Station....   Big band. Dancing the Bee Bop and doing the Lindy.  It has soul and I can't believe it is my home....   No Kidding.

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It's good to be back home in anonymity world.  I feel loved here, but am sad and empty that we cannot hold one another for real....   what a double edge sword....   a virtual Catch22

~~~

Thank you faithful friends that have continued to reach out in spite of the self imposed isolation...  and to those who every now and then just thought,   'I wonder how Drew Berry is doing"

I love you.  and Thank you for loving me...

Peace

While tending the weedsnests of the yard today, I noticed the soil was so dry, it was nearly impossible to loose the hold those weeds had.  It made me ponder on the weeds of my life!.

One thing I knew, that if I added water to the mix,  it would soften the soil & the weeds would let go more easily and the burdon would be lessoned. 

As I watered, the sun beat down so hard.  Heat...  Hot... It is late August afterall.  It didn't take long to realize that in my own hands was Release.  Comfort.  Soothing Spirit was within my own power to take.

As usual though, I held a thrashing resistance to the change.  It's so different, the cleansing water.  What a shock it would be.  But, it looked good as I imagined its cool comfort on my skin...  in connection with my blood, which runs through and sustains my heart!  "Take that leap of faith", my spirit yelled 

Then listening to the impassioned sway, I raised the hose in praise and in pleading.

The  cooling comfort of His Loving embrace fell so freely.  And for a moment, there was hope...  and clarity, as I saw the fullness of His Covenant.  My own RAINBOW in the mist from a simple garden hose.

Not just a Bow, but it was Brilliant and in FULL CIRCLE.  A Full Frontal HUG FROM GOD!

The best part is that at the end... where the Pot of Gold would be....   Was ME!

~ THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT ~

This is too freaking funny not to post.

Watch the original news footage, then watch the parody Accidental Song.
The creative minds behind this process are nothing short of BRILLIANT!

 

  

**The sinners prayer**“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

 

THANK YOU YoHanna for posting this!  

I need to pray this myself, and often!

Nothing about you was preconceived

One day you simply presented to me

Beguiled by your mysteries

You captured my heart

A breath to transcend

And quickly impart

 

Like a beautiful dawn

Your sunlit surprise

Taking all of my breath 

Eclipsing the sky 

The essence of your smile  

Rising quickly so high

 

 

I had to reach out before quickly losing

Finer the beautiiful landscape am viewing

 

With substance your aura

Beaming brightly the ways

Clarifying my cloudy and

Storm ridden days

 

Quietly wondering why Grace has bestowed

Undeserving this beautiful sunriddened glow

Unquestioning though, the silhouetted surprise

I take in your essence through appreciative eyes

This is so cool:

 

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The darn embedding is disabled.... but this is one of my favorites.  This are just a few kids from the Carolinas.  I love seeing the next generation of musicians coming up with new and inovative sounds, building on the greats. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwkpihGwSj0

 

Just love their fresh acoustic sound and sweet harmonys

 

Bluegrass is more than just the dueling banjos from Deliverance. 

These are some of the most tallented musicians you'll ever see. 

Check out the little girl playing the mandolin....  WOW.

 

This is my kind of bluegrass....

 

I love having a silly teenager in the house....   keeps me laughing all the time.